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LIZANOVA GAZETTE
LIZANOVA GAZETTE
4 July 2009
Volume 1 Issue 4
BABBIE GRANT SWALLOWS FOR AMERIKA
WASHINGTON DC (LG)--- Today Ashley Judd, trash talked Gabbie Grant, professional newswoman, publisher and Editor-in-Chief of this Gazette and accuses her of “biting off more than she can swallow.”
Ashley, beautiful and sexy Hollywood movie-star and spokeswoman w’hoe of NARAL Pro-Choice (Genocide) America speaking at the Conference Unity Now Talk Sisterhood vehemently condemned Gabbie’s defense of saintly PRO-LIFE Americans.
Ashley the Murder-mommie, told her audience who applauded uproariously, “Gabbie is showing her true dress size. How dare she speak against a woman’s right to make her own health decision. We are not talking about some cute and cuddly little Panda bear who is so vulnerable that we must protect him. We are talking about some extra uterine tissue blob that is somehow related to a man’s penis and anyway, this worthless tissue growth must be cut from a woman’s womb because it can endanger the life of the woman if allowed to fester. It also upsets her stomach. Think about how many important salon visits must be canceled each year.”
Ashley the w’hoe concludes, “Only extremist religious Jesus freaks believe the myth that this tissue blob is a human being with the Constitutional right to life and must be protected by the courts and fellow Citizens. Ha ha ha, I laugh at U. I am Ashley Judd the beautiful and sexy Hollywood movie star and Americans stand with me!”
“U want a piece of me BITCH?” retorts Gabbie. “More than I can swallow? FUCK U WHORE. I swallow it all.” Now Gabbie’s pissed! “I’ll show U a PRO-LIFE newsletter that ends this abortion-murder in my life time.” promises Gabbie Grant.
Ashlie Moorehouse is Anchor Woman for Lizanova Gazette reporting from Washington DC.
YALE UNIVERSITY WIRED TO BENEFIT MANKIND
YALE UNIVERSITY (LG) ---Wm. ‘Barney’ Frank PhD. Professor-in-Chief Homo sapiens Homo Affinity College Yale University and world renowned Rhodes Scholar is excited to announce a new university scientific research study fully funded by the recently legislated TARP BILL (Trouble Asset Relief Program) also known on Capital Hill as the ‘Porkulus Stimulus Bill.’
Associated Press fired me but Lisa, God bless her, she has hired me. T U, T U, T U. Ashley that wonderful gerl, loaned me Mike Rock’s new VOICE/RECORD/AUTO-PRINT News Reporter Computer to use. I am so excited in my new job.
Nellie >> Professor what is ….<<
Barney >> I have so much to do … He came … That boy came with his big Stimulus … All I had to do was that one night … That boy came … Now I am sooo stimulated from all that money! Ha, a, a, those retarded tax-payers. Money, government money unlimited all mine! <<
Nellie >> Your new study? <<
Barney >> Oh yes, You! Is that a tape recorder? <<
Nellie >> Nnooo? <<
Barney >> I am very concerned about China’s Panda bear population. Male Panda bears are not interested in breeding with females. Males just sit on their ass and chew Jamaican gold bamboo buds the only grass species that Giant Panda’s can digest. <<
Nellie >> So, how do we stimulate the male … <<
Barney >> Precisely and my previous research show pornographic photographs, video and live man and woman acting models fornicating just put the male asleep.
Nellie >> Don’t I know … <<
Barney >> I wonder if I can scam … study… I said study … the Panda stimulated by two or more men models … Hahh (sigh)! and if I place delicate wires on the Panda’s penis? <<
Nellie >> Professor are you saying … <<
Barny >> Go away! I’m done with you. I have to postulate important scientific research that benefit mankind. I have wires to place. <<
Natalie Donovan Lizanova Gazette Reporter reporting from Yale University think tank.
Ask SargeAsk
There is only one thing that catches my eye quicker than the wiggle in a gerl’s walk and that is the fine grained polished wood of a rifle butt.
Many of U boyz have been asking me, “Sarge, what is your favorite gun to own and shot?” Just like holdin’ a woman, I never held a gun I didn’t like. My daddie was fond of saying, “Son, U take one woman to love, cherish and be your wife but if you know how many guns you own, then you aint’ owned enough!”
I have always been suspicious of any politician who works so hard to convince me that I have a Constitutional right to bend another man over a table and corn-cob his A-corn but my gran-daddie’s shotgun must be confiscated.
Sadly, I see our 2nd Amendment Constitutional right to own and bear guns being sliced and diced away by politicians into disposable pieces much like a fetus on a sushi bar. Oh, yea these serpent tongued elected representatives posses all the finesse of the Japanese Sushi Master when it comes to gun confiscation rhetoric.
They gaze across America’s fruited plains and majestic mountains and see nothing but “pussies” to be fucked and I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout women folk.
All U boyz gotta ‘man-up.' Let me take count? I ask every American male who is old enough to purchase tobacco and a bottle of ‘Jack Daniel’s’ to reach down between your legs and grab whatever is there.
Now squeeze boy. Harder, Bitch! Yeeeoww! I’m screaming nice and loud but I don’t hear nothin’ from U boyz. This is the problem. U are the pussy that politicians like to fuck. Ole Sarge is gonna make a man outta U boyz, an American Male that my Daddie can be proud of.
Madame members, Sarge ain’t talkin’ to you so you can skip over my ‘words of wisdom.’ I’ll let my gerl, Lisanova handle you genteel women folk.
Good job. U boyz read all these words but if you’re like ole Sarge my mind drifts onto other things quickly. Click Swim Suit Pixs button >>HotForBreastsWords<<
Ralphie the Alterboy
Hi! I am Ralphie. I am nine years old. My Patron Saint is Saint Catherine of Siena. I can teach you to pray the Rosary.
Michael J. Fox kneels before our Lord Jesus Christ in his Day of Judgment. Michael asks, “Lord, I prayed and I prayed for You to heal my shakie-shakes. Why did You abandon me?” Christ answers, “Michael I created a boy scientist who cured your disease in your lifetime.” “I never saw him Lord.” says Michael. Christ responds, “You aborted him.”
Letters to the Editor
Dear Gabbie,
No disrespect for U and ur sisterhood but I want to know what is Sarge’s favorite gun to own and shoot?
Lisanova U are a genius starting this newsletter. Lov U Lisa!
Nesbitt
Perspective
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, my fellow Countrymen,
I refuse to give anyone a “Happy Fourth of July.”
“When will it all end?” some of you ask. “Plez … Ralph Mouth … some one make it stop…!” one other demands. This crusade ends over my dead body or until every lisanovalive member is saintly PRO-LIFE and abortion-murder is finished like slavery is finished.
My father, my grand-father Soldiers all of us, we fought and we served under a flag where the color red fabric symbolized the blood of Patriots sacrificed in battle defending the God given unalienable right of life for every Citizen born. We are born in our mother’s womb.
I watched the Colors fly at Fort Jackson South Carolina parade field as a young Private so many decades ago. My eyes swelled with tears.
Today our Citizens, from the President of this nation onto lisanovalive members, have lost its moral compass so necessary to guide a righteous nation. Our nation has murdered 49 million aborted Citizens. Our killed babies, their blood stains our hands, their butchered bodies remain unburied and carried by our fabric of liberty. Now the color red fabric in our flag symbolizes the blood of all the innocent children aborted by a corrupt and morally bankrupt nation.
I have loved our country my entire life and I do so today but when I look upon the Colors carried waving in marching parades my eyes swell with tears.
Today, I have tears of sorrow and shame not tears of pride and righteousness.
I refuse to give anyone a “Happy Fourth of July.”
Sincerely,
Ralph Marie Richard Winkowski
CLASSIFIEDS
How Strong are you Soldier?
“ARMY STRONG Drill Sergeant ARMY STRONG.”
Join the new modern US Army.
Let us give you the skills you need to compete in today’s employment.
Platoon Sergeant Mike Rock, Infantry AUS and Sergeant Elizabeth Ashley Cummings, US Army’s elite Breast Feeding Specialist want to talk to you High School Graduates. Visit our new Army Recruiting Office located inside the Single Woman’s Health Clinic on 69th Street. Please observe the ‘Quiet Zone’ babies are sleeping.
BE ARMY STRONG
US Army Recruiting Command
Come see the new 2010 OGM Cadillac ‘Panda’ and drive an automobile that you never dreamed of experiencing. You won’t believe your eyes!
Call for an appointment and demonstration drive in our spacious show room. Obama Government Motors Dealer # 382533.
Are you behind in your mortgage and you still can’t find a job? Do you want to join the Army just for “three hots and a cot?” Lost your home to the taxman or bank? We can put fabric over your family’s heads.
Omar the Tent Maker of Iraq has opened a subsidiary factory in the USA with anticipation of increased demand for our quality and affordable product. We are in the Yellow Pages under ‘homes.’
Copyright @ 2009
4 July 2009
Volume 1 Issue 4
BABBIE GRANT SWALLOWS FOR AMERIKA
WASHINGTON DC (LG)--- Today Ashley Judd, trash talked Gabbie Grant, professional newswoman, publisher and Editor-in-Chief of this Gazette and accuses her of “biting off more than she can swallow.”
Ashley, beautiful and sexy Hollywood movie-star and spokeswoman w’hoe of NARAL Pro-Choice (Genocide) America speaking at the Conference Unity Now Talk Sisterhood vehemently condemned Gabbie’s defense of saintly PRO-LIFE Americans.
Ashley the Murder-mommie, told her audience who applauded uproariously, “Gabbie is showing her true dress size. How dare she speak against a woman’s right to make her own health decision. We are not talking about some cute and cuddly little Panda bear who is so vulnerable that we must protect him. We are talking about some extra uterine tissue blob that is somehow related to a man’s penis and anyway, this worthless tissue growth must be cut from a woman’s womb because it can endanger the life of the woman if allowed to fester. It also upsets her stomach. Think about how many important salon visits must be canceled each year.”
Ashley the w’hoe concludes, “Only extremist religious Jesus freaks believe the myth that this tissue blob is a human being with the Constitutional right to life and must be protected by the courts and fellow Citizens. Ha ha ha, I laugh at U. I am Ashley Judd the beautiful and sexy Hollywood movie star and Americans stand with me!”
“U want a piece of me BITCH?” retorts Gabbie. “More than I can swallow? FUCK U WHORE. I swallow it all.” Now Gabbie’s pissed! “I’ll show U a PRO-LIFE newsletter that ends this abortion-murder in my life time.” promises Gabbie Grant.
Ashlie Moorehouse is Anchor Woman for Lizanova Gazette reporting from Washington DC.
YALE UNIVERSITY WIRED TO BENEFIT MANKIND
YALE UNIVERSITY (LG) ---Wm. ‘Barney’ Frank PhD. Professor-in-Chief Homo sapiens Homo Affinity College Yale University and world renowned Rhodes Scholar is excited to announce a new university scientific research study fully funded by the recently legislated TARP BILL (Trouble Asset Relief Program) also known on Capital Hill as the ‘Porkulus Stimulus Bill.’
Associated Press fired me but Lisa, God bless her, she has hired me. T U, T U, T U. Ashley that wonderful gerl, loaned me Mike Rock’s new VOICE/RECORD/AUTO-PRINT News Reporter Computer to use. I am so excited in my new job.
Nellie >> Professor what is ….<<
Barney >> I have so much to do … He came … That boy came with his big Stimulus … All I had to do was that one night … That boy came … Now I am sooo stimulated from all that money! Ha, a, a, those retarded tax-payers. Money, government money unlimited all mine! <<
Nellie >> Your new study? <<
Barney >> Oh yes, You! Is that a tape recorder? <<
Nellie >> Nnooo? <<
Barney >> I am very concerned about China’s Panda bear population. Male Panda bears are not interested in breeding with females. Males just sit on their ass and chew Jamaican gold bamboo buds the only grass species that Giant Panda’s can digest. <<
Nellie >> So, how do we stimulate the male … <<
Barney >> Precisely and my previous research show pornographic photographs, video and live man and woman acting models fornicating just put the male asleep.
Nellie >> Don’t I know … <<
Barney >> I wonder if I can scam … study… I said study … the Panda stimulated by two or more men models … Hahh (sigh)! and if I place delicate wires on the Panda’s penis? <<
Nellie >> Professor are you saying … <<
Barny >> Go away! I’m done with you. I have to postulate important scientific research that benefit mankind. I have wires to place. <<
Natalie Donovan Lizanova Gazette Reporter reporting from Yale University think tank.
Ask SargeAsk
There is only one thing that catches my eye quicker than the wiggle in a gerl’s walk and that is the fine grained polished wood of a rifle butt.
Many of U boyz have been asking me, “Sarge, what is your favorite gun to own and shot?” Just like holdin’ a woman, I never held a gun I didn’t like. My daddie was fond of saying, “Son, U take one woman to love, cherish and be your wife but if you know how many guns you own, then you aint’ owned enough!”
I have always been suspicious of any politician who works so hard to convince me that I have a Constitutional right to bend another man over a table and corn-cob his A-corn but my gran-daddie’s shotgun must be confiscated.
Sadly, I see our 2nd Amendment Constitutional right to own and bear guns being sliced and diced away by politicians into disposable pieces much like a fetus on a sushi bar. Oh, yea these serpent tongued elected representatives posses all the finesse of the Japanese Sushi Master when it comes to gun confiscation rhetoric.
They gaze across America’s fruited plains and majestic mountains and see nothing but “pussies” to be fucked and I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout women folk.
All U boyz gotta ‘man-up.' Let me take count? I ask every American male who is old enough to purchase tobacco and a bottle of ‘Jack Daniel’s’ to reach down between your legs and grab whatever is there.
Now squeeze boy. Harder, Bitch! Yeeeoww! I’m screaming nice and loud but I don’t hear nothin’ from U boyz. This is the problem. U are the pussy that politicians like to fuck. Ole Sarge is gonna make a man outta U boyz, an American Male that my Daddie can be proud of.
Madame members, Sarge ain’t talkin’ to you so you can skip over my ‘words of wisdom.’ I’ll let my gerl, Lisanova handle you genteel women folk.
Good job. U boyz read all these words but if you’re like ole Sarge my mind drifts onto other things quickly. Click Swim Suit Pixs button >>HotFor
Ralphie the Alterboy
Hi! I am Ralphie. I am nine years old. My Patron Saint is Saint Catherine of Siena. I can teach you to pray the Rosary.
Michael J. Fox kneels before our Lord Jesus Christ in his Day of Judgment. Michael asks, “Lord, I prayed and I prayed for You to heal my shakie-shakes. Why did You abandon me?” Christ answers, “Michael I created a boy scientist who cured your disease in your lifetime.” “I never saw him Lord.” says Michael. Christ responds, “You aborted him.”
Letters to the Editor
Dear Gabbie,
No disrespect for U and ur sisterhood but I want to know what is Sarge’s favorite gun to own and shoot?
Lisanova U are a genius starting this newsletter. Lov U Lisa!
Nesbitt
Perspective
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, my fellow Countrymen,
I refuse to give anyone a “Happy Fourth of July.”
“When will it all end?” some of you ask. “Plez … Ralph Mouth … some one make it stop…!” one other demands. This crusade ends over my dead body or until every lisanovalive member is saintly PRO-LIFE and abortion-murder is finished like slavery is finished.
My father, my grand-father Soldiers all of us, we fought and we served under a flag where the color red fabric symbolized the blood of Patriots sacrificed in battle defending the God given unalienable right of life for every Citizen born. We are born in our mother’s womb.
I watched the Colors fly at Fort Jackson South Carolina parade field as a young Private so many decades ago. My eyes swelled with tears.
Today our Citizens, from the President of this nation onto lisanovalive members, have lost its moral compass so necessary to guide a righteous nation. Our nation has murdered 49 million aborted Citizens. Our killed babies, their blood stains our hands, their butchered bodies remain unburied and carried by our fabric of liberty. Now the color red fabric in our flag symbolizes the blood of all the innocent children aborted by a corrupt and morally bankrupt nation.
I have loved our country my entire life and I do so today but when I look upon the Colors carried waving in marching parades my eyes swell with tears.
Today, I have tears of sorrow and shame not tears of pride and righteousness.
I refuse to give anyone a “Happy Fourth of July.”
Sincerely,
Ralph Marie Richard Winkowski
CLASSIFIEDS
How Strong are you Soldier?
“ARMY STRONG Drill Sergeant ARMY STRONG.”
Join the new modern US Army.
Let us give you the skills you need to compete in today’s employment.
Platoon Sergeant Mike Rock, Infantry AUS and Sergeant Elizabeth Ashley Cummings, US Army’s elite Breast Feeding Specialist want to talk to you High School Graduates. Visit our new Army Recruiting Office located inside the Single Woman’s Health Clinic on 69th Street. Please observe the ‘Quiet Zone’ babies are sleeping.
BE ARMY STRONG
US Army Recruiting Command
Come see the new 2010 OGM Cadillac ‘Panda’ and drive an automobile that you never dreamed of experiencing. You won’t believe your eyes!
Call for an appointment and demonstration drive in our spacious show room. Obama Government Motors Dealer # 382533.
Are you behind in your mortgage and you still can’t find a job? Do you want to join the Army just for “three hots and a cot?” Lost your home to the taxman or bank? We can put fabric over your family’s heads.
Omar the Tent Maker of Iraq has opened a subsidiary factory in the USA with anticipation of increased demand for our quality and affordable product. We are in the Yellow Pages under ‘homes.’
Copyright @ 2009
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