“Santa’s Downfall”
Download free MP3 at:
http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/2077314
Lyrics:
Someone’s surely stolen Santa’s sleigh.
North Pole got so stressful near the sleigh.
Rudloph broke his cage and ran away.
Mrs. Claus just barely saw him go.
Should have seen when she let Santa know.
“Santa, think that Rudolph stole your sleigh.
Hope this doesn’t ruin Christmas day.”
Santa tracked his deer with GPS.
Where the old man found him… Continue
Added by Mike on December 2, 2009 at 7:50am —
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Happy Thanksgiving.
“Love and Joy”
Download free MP3 at:
http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/2053562
Drove to the park one night.
And, he quickly killed the lights.
Said: “Walk with me awhile.”
Gorgeous lover lost her smile.
She begged him: “Take me home.”
But, he rushed out all alone.
“Love, I must get one thing.”
And, he came back with a ring.
Alleluia. Alleluia.
Knelt and said: “Be my bride.”
Soon his lover’s smile grew wide.
“Please… Continue
Added by Mike on November 26, 2009 at 6:24am —
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Serial Cuddler (parody song)
Download free mp3 at: http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/2035771
Watch music video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdNK7epIRV8
Wake up in the morning
Thank God that you're here
I doubt I deserve you
Love you so much, dear
Light pours through your window
Brightens up your face
Marvel at your beauty
Wish we shared this place
I know I shouldn't be her… Continue
Added by Mike on November 21, 2009 at 7:57am —
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Die, Vampires Song
Download MP3 at:
http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/2005373
At a party late one night
Saw this vixen smile at me
She said come up to my room
If there’s more you’d like to see
Something told me not to
Lust said it had to be
She pulled me into her room
Used a key to lock the door
Started kissing on my neck
Took off all the clothes I wore
When her fangs scratched my neck
My blood began to pour
In the corner stood a bro… Continue
Added by Mike on November 13, 2009 at 8:03am —
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“No Costco Coffins”
http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/1972889http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0mV1W1LV58
Lyrics:
Don't tell me. No, I've heard it before:
If she buys your product, then her husband won't snore.
Pay just $19.99 and get the book light free.
Got a question, Mr. Billy Mays.
How did all that screaming increase your pay?
Make me turn the volume down on my own TV.… Continue
Added by Mike on November 4, 2009 at 8:31am —
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"Wishing She Would Never Die"
Download song at:
http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/1966511
Light a candle for my love as the cancer steals her days.
She's much happier than me. She's remembered how to play.
We all watch her as she laughs, reading stories to the boy --
Makes the most of time that's left, planting memories of joy.
Feels so final as she says good bye.
Struggle to accept the facts, as she's singing let it be.
Lift my chin,… Continue
Added by Mike on November 2, 2009 at 10:30am —
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Will she hate herself if she can't own some skirt?
Will she repeat that her folks are poor as dirt?
Will she kill to join the cooler crowd?
Yes, some fear it's so.
Things she won't permit herself to know.
Will she ridicule to impress false friends?
Who she'll snub today -- who knows? It all depends.
Is she learning much in middle school?
Parents pray it's so.
Things they won't permit themselves to know.
Will she let cute boys run through every base?
Will they trash her name… Continue
Added by Mike on October 13, 2009 at 7:05am —
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Mad men want to build a nuke, praying it will melt your flesh for God.
Ask for tougher sanctions, now. Bet the Russians will not give a nod.
Children shot up in a school. Killers boasted of their plans for weeks.
Family shares a meal at night; each on wearing headphones: No one speaks.
Problems seem unsolvable. Sun will rise, but stars must also die.
Shoud we tune all worry out, say we've no control, stop asking why?
Spending deeper into debt, all forgetting someone has to pay… Continue
Added by Mike on October 8, 2009 at 7:09am —
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"Evening Prayer"
Sometimes wonder if you're listening.
Please save me from despair.
Yes, I know you don't bargain,
But I can't say you don't care.
At least, help me bear the outcome
If your plan does not match mine.
Give me strength to trust your wisdom,
Help when nothing seems to shine. Continue
Added by Mike on September 15, 2009 at 9:11am —
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Bought a lotto ticket.
It's lucky. I just know.
No doubt I'm a winner
Soon rolling in the dough.
I'll spend, now, on credit
And buy a fancy car,
Take a nice vacation,
Hang with the movie stars.
They announce the winner.
Expect my lucky break.
Someone else's numbers --
There must be a mistake.
I didn't win no lotto, man.
I didn't win no lotto, man.
Forget all retirement plans.
No, I didn't win no lotto, man. Continue
Added by Mike on August 30, 2009 at 6:35am —
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"A Song For Your Haters"
Mean things that they shout at you.
Let fools rage and let 'em stew.
That's the worse that they can do.
Deep inside their hearts are hallow.
Critics who won't run the race
Want to put you in your place.
Cowards who can't keep your pace:
Never born to lead but follow.
Lift your chin and walk on by.
Let the hungry vampires die.
As you flourish, they will cry.
In self pity, they must wallow. Continue
Added by Mike on August 4, 2009 at 7:17am —
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Watch video poem at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twkfoqctbeo
Words don't mean much to me.
I tell 'em lies; they sign quickly.
If something breaks, I won't be found.
If mice infest, I'm not around.
Give me hell -- I'll raise their rent
Or tow their car and leave a dent.
College kids come and go.
Deposits kept: I spent the dough.
She pays me late; I boot her out.
The judge backs me without a doubt.
"Sign the lease, you st… Continue
Added by Mike on August 3, 2009 at 12:35pm —
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"Siren's Song"
Watch video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZwnAbMMV6U
If you hear the siren's song, traveler it won't be long.
You'll fall prostrate at her feet so bewitched that you can't eat.
Won't you fill your ears with wax before siren's song attacks?
Have us tie you to the mast; otherwise you will not last.
You'll forget all in her voice; step back while you have a choice.
Go home to your worried wife. Beauty hopes t… Continue
Added by Mike on July 20, 2009 at 12:16pm —
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First day he sees her
Loses his mind
How to approach her
What excuse can he find?
Drops by her restaurant
She's tending bar
For more attention
He fills up her tip jar
Drinks down more courage
Whiskey and ber
Asks for her number
She smiles like she can't hear
In walks her girlfriend
Kiss on the lips
He sees they're lovers
and false hopes in those tips Continue
Added by Mike on July 13, 2009 at 7:14am —
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr1NAxLktvs
I'm unavailable; please don't leave a message.
Are there goals that I might aim for now if I knew just when I'd die and how?
Would I put my appetites in check?
Would I salvage anything I've wrecked?
Would I focus on important things or just take what inattention brings?
Would I change the ways I think and feel about annoying things with which I deal? Continue
Added by Mike on June 29, 2009 at 7:39am —
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In this episode, Nicole tries to prevent Carl from hurting himself in a church and confronts Chris with a warning to leave town
1. Do you believe in evil supernatural beings? Continue
Added by Mike on February 16, 2009 at 1:26pm —
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I like to have my burgers
Piled high with triple meat.
I doubt I'll get Diabetes.
Don't amputate my feet.
Airline man, don't you charge me
'Cause I need extra space.
Shove my seat belt extender in
Your condescending face.
I'd rather eat a pizza
Than jog around the track.
I like my portions supersized;
Don't have a heart attack.
Health plan, please don't fine me
'Cause I ain't losin' weight.
At least, I'm not a smoker, now.
I simply like cheese steak.
Continue
Added by Mike on February 9, 2009 at 7:44am —
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Theodicy II (Episode 11)
In this episode of our story about the end of the world, Chris begins to plot revenge against Jennifer's secret boyfriend, Father Stephen Keller. Continue
Added by Mike on November 12, 2008 at 5:29am —
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